If you haven’t read the firt 12 lessons, click here.
Lesson n°13: You are not your story
I used to repeat myself a story, the traumas I faced during my childhood and the way they affected the rest of my life in many areas even until today. I used to use my story to explain some of my behaviors or some of the things that were happening to me, like an excuse. It was fate, I couldn’t help it.
And then I realized that I am not my past, I am not my story. It influences me, for sure, and it makes me who I am today, but still, I am in control and I can choose who I want to be. There is no fatality.
As Sartre says, “The important is not what they did to me, but what I do with what they did to me”.
Lesson n°14: Be creative
Think out of the box, do something with your hands, whether it’s writing, painting, making music, cooking. Or just share your ideas with the world.
Lesson n°15: Not everyone will like you and that’s okay
I used to seek to be appreciated by everyone and please everyone but then I realized 2 things: 1) it doesn’t work and 2) I am burning myself and feel out of alignment.
Not everyone will like you and that’s fine. At least, the people that stay close to you will be there for you and because they really like you the way you are.
Don’t be a people pleaser. Don’t be a vanilla.
Lesson n°16: You are in control, you have the choice
We often think that a lot of things that happen to us are out of our control and that’s true. However, we control way more things that we usually think.
First of all, we control the most important tool, we control our thoughts. And our thoughts make our reality. By disciplining our minds, we can take control of our lives.
Very often, we forget that we have the choice, even if we say we don’t. Yes, it is sometimes way more comfortable to think that things are out of our control and that we don’t have the choice, to not take full responsibility for our actions.
The truth is we always have the choice. Sometimes, none of the options are good, but we still have the choice, and we need to give fewer excuses and take more action. By refusing to choose, you give your power to other people and allow them to control your life.
Lesson n°17: Let go of your limiting beliefs: your only limits are the one you give to yourself
I used to censor myself in a lot of areas of my life because I thought I was not good enough, that I would never succeed, that I was a failure, etc. Hello, impostor syndrome!
In the end, I realize that the only limit was myself. In the worst moment, when I thought I couldn’t make it, I manage the situation and learned so much in the process.
So don’t limit yourself and go for it. Maybe you’ll fail, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.
Lesson n°18: Everything is a matter of perspective
Are you the kind of people to see the glass half-full or half-empty? Even if I love to complain (because I’m French and it is our national sport), I am also an eternal optimistic and I am pretty good at seeing the good in a “bad” situation.
For example, once I had an interview that went very well, even if the company wasn’t sure to invite me for an interview because they thought my profile was a bit too junior. In the end, I did not get the job, but they really hesitated between me and the other candidate, so I was still proud of myself!
Everything is a matter of perspective and you just need to shift your mindset.
Lesson n°19: Keep learning and getting educated
Even if I finished school years ago, I am still learning every day through books, documentary, hours scrolling on Wikipedia (am I the only one to do that?) and exchanging with people.
I also still love taking classes (yoga, dutch classes, etc.).
Never miss an opportunity to acquire some more wisdom!
Lesson n°20: Be inspiring
It’s good to be surrounded by inspiring people and role-models. But don’t forget that you are inspiring too. Step up, shine bright (like a diamond), embody what you preach. Inspire people by your actions.
Lesson n°21: Trust
One of the biggest lessons I learned while traveling is to trust people. The world is not dangerous. People are not trying to harm you. Trust people along the road. The great majority of them only want your best and to help you. Opening up to strangers offered me my best experiences and some beautiful friends.
Lesson n°22: If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no
I am definitely a yes-person. I say yes to everyone and everything because I am always happy to help, and I love having new projects.
However, I sometimes end up committing to too many things at the same time or saying yes to things I don’t really want to do, or not daring to say no afterward, if, for example, I realize that I would rather spend a quiet night at home instead of going to a bar.
Now, I try to be more mindful of all the things I say yes to. If something feels a bit off, if I am not sure, it’s a no.
Learning to say no is the healthiest boundary you can set.
Lesson n°23: Stop being hard on yourself and know your worth
Who never thought something like “I am not good/pretty/educated/rich/smart/fit enough to…” or “I am a failure”, throw the first stone at me.
We are all treating ourselves like garbage and being our hardest judge at some point in our lives. We are telling ourselves things we would never say to our worst enemy and we are holding expectations for ourselves we wouldn’t expect from our best friend.
I was constantly feeling like shit because my skin wasn’t clear enough, I wasn’t fit enough, I didn’t have to figure it all out, etc. It is still hard for me but now, every time this kind of negative thought pops up, I try to repeat myself positive affirmations like “I am beautiful just the way I am”, “I am successful and I have all the gifts I need to achieve my goals and dreams”.
Know your worth my friend !
Lesson n°24: Choose your tribe wisely
“Your vibe attracts your tribe” so make sure that you keep your vibration at the highest levels to attract kind and inspiring people.
These are the main lessons I learned during my short life. I try to remember them and apply them in my daily life, even if some of them are easier than others.
And you, what are some life lessons your learned ?