The 10 pains of Hostel life

The 10 pains of Hostel life

While traveling, I mostly stayed in hostels, in dorms. There, I met amazing people and had really good times. I have been to wonderful hostels, cozy and clean, with super nice staff. But I have also been to a couple of really shitty hostels, where I met the worst of humanity.

Here are the 10 worst things in hostels!

1) People snoring

Okay, so let’s be honest, people snoring are my #1 people I hate when I am staying in a hostel. Seriously, if I hear someone snoring during the night, I can’t sleep at all. Earplugs are your best friends, but sometimes, people are so loud that you still hear them! In that case, 2 solutions: waking them up or resign yourself to not sleep and pray so they are gone the next day.

But even if snorers are the worst people on earth, sometimes it can be the beginning of a friendship, even if you wake them up in the middle of the night, threatening them to fucking kill them (quote) if they don’t stop right now. True story.

2) People fucking in dorms

In hostels, there is 3 kinds of people: people that don’t have sex, people that have some respect and sex in the shower, and people that mixed up a 10 beds dorm with a private room and fuck in the dorm.

To all the people out there that ever had sex in a dorm room, I have a big news for you: even if you put a towel so people can’t see you and to create some “privacy”, WE HEAR YOU (and we hate you).

View from my room, in my hostel in Oaxaca, Mexico

3) Loud people

In hostels, some people seem to forget that they live in community and that they share the space with dozens of other people, especially in dorms. They talk out loud late in the night or early in the morning, even in dorms while people are sleeping, as if they were the only ones here, they make phone calls in dorms and we all have the pleasure to learn everything about their life, and they get angry when you kindly ask them to keep quiet. Or they talk lower for 2 minutes and then start screaming again.

Sometimes, you also have the combo between loud backpacker and drunk backpacker (see #10). These people are evil.

So to you, loud backpacker, we kindly ask you to SHUT THE FUCK UP. Thank you.

NYE at Hostel Humanity, Puerto Morelos, Mexico

4) People that repack in the middle of the night

We all know this kind of people that has his flight/bus early in the morning and that doesn’t have the presence of mind to repack the day before, so they just need to put a few items in their backpack, like their pajama or their toothbrush.

No, these people prefer to repack at 4am to give us a concert of zips and plastic bags sounds, slamming doors as they go in and out the room 10 times in 5 minutes, when they don’t turn on the light!

No problem man, it’s just 3am, I was not even sleeping! I hope they will burn in hell.

5) Shitty Wi-Fi

                When you stay in a hostel, you have to share the Wi-Fi with dozens of people. Sometimes, the connection is great, sometimes it really sucks, and it takes you 10 minutes to open your emails. In that case, only one solution, RUN! Or just enjoy the quietness and see it as an opportunity for a little digital detox.

Our hostel in Valladolid, Mexico

6) Squeaky bunk beds

This point is tightly related to point #2. If you stay in a hostel, you’ll very likely have to sleep in a bunk bed. And God knows that they can be very squeaky! Especially when people are hooking up just next to you.

Both beds have their advantages and inconveniences. If you take the bottom bunk, you don’t have to climb all the time, BUT you’re woken up by the person in the upper bad every time they move. Other advantage to sleep in the bottom bunk is that you can kick the mattress if the other is snoring. Yes, I did that. Choose your team.

Some creep that I won’t name took this picture

7) No power plugs or lockers

Sometimes, there is just one or two power plugs in 12 beds dorms. And it’s literally a war to get one of them and recharge your phone/laptop. Same for lockers. I don’t want to carry my camera, laptop, phone and money all the time with me! If a hostel owner is reading this, please install one power plug and one locker per bed. The backpacker community thank you.

8) Dirty showers/toilets

                That’s a really tough one, when the toilets or the showers of your hostels are so disgusting that you have to keep your flip flops under the shower because you can’t think about putting your feet there. Same for the toilets, it’s so nice to wake up in the morning, go to the loo, and realized that someone chundered everywhere or shit and didn’t flush.

View from Hostel Santa Cruz, Ometepe Island, Nicaragua

9) Cold showers

                In Central America, warm showers are scarce in hostels. So scarce that hostels specify it in their description! While traveling, I already spent 2 weeks without warm shower. Sometimes, it’s fine, because it’s cold, but it’s really hot outside. But sometimes, the water is not just cold, it’s freezing! Good thing, you save the planet, since you don’t stay more than 2 minutes in the shower. And it’s good for blood circulation.

10) Party hostels

                Ah party hostels, my favorite (no). Seriously what is the point of traveling to the other side of the world, to just stay in your hostel and get shit-faced with other backpackers? I mean, if I want to get wasted, I can do It at home!

                For me, party hostels are a mystery: people are drunk or hungover all day, you can’t sleep because the music is so loud till late in the night, drunk people are more likely to vomit everywhere or do stupid shit.

Yeah no, seriously, I really don’t get it, if someone can explain!

Hostel La Isla family, San Cristobal de las Casas, Mexico

And you, what are the things you hate the most when you stay in a hostel ? Here are a few more ideas:

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